sisterhood

Dear 2 Year Old: You’re Making the Baby Cry


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Dear sweet, precious 2 year old of mine:

I know that you love your baby sister so much that you want to squeeze her, but she doesn’t like having all her insides shoved into her chest.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know that you have this weird ear fetish right now, and you think that other people like having their ears pinched together. But no one likes that.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were only trying to give the baby a drink of water because you thought she was thirsty. But I’m sure you know that her mouth is not on top of her head, and now she’s soaking wet.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were just chasing bandits on your stick horse, but you trampled the baby and smacked her in the face in the process.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were just trying to help her stand up because you wanted her to walk, but her legs aren’t strong enough yet, and neither are you based on how you dropped her.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were just trying to give her a hug, but you knocked her down sumo style instead.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were trying to help feed the baby, but onion skins are not for eating, and as it turns out, get stuck to the roof of one’s mouth.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you just wanted to cuddle, but when you climbed in her crib and fell on her, you scared her shitless.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were just copying Mommy and pretending to eat her chubby thigh. But when Mommy does it, she doesn’t use her teeth.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you wanted to teach the baby how to catch, but now she has a black eye.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you still don’t grasp that pinching people hurts them. But it does.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you really wanted to play with the baby’s toy even though you have 100 of your own, but damn it she had it first.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were only trying to get her dressed, but you have to undo the buttons before trying to ram her head through it.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you were just trying to give the baby a treat, but she’s too young for chocolate. Now I’m the bad guy who took it away and there is chocolate EVERYWHERE.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know that you just wanted to play hide and go seek and thought that the best place for her to hide would be underneath a blanket, but she hated that.

You’re making the baby cry.

I know you told her to run before you shot the arrow at her, but she can’t even crawl yet.

You’re making the baby cry.

 

In conclusion, my dear, sweet little angel of a toddler: I know that you love your baby, and are confused as to why she starts crying when she hears your angelic, screaming voice coming her way, but for the love of God LEAVE THE BABY ALONE!

Because you’re making the baby cry.


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That Moment When the 2 Year Old is Trying to Nurse the Baby

Eowyn woke up before either of her sisters this morning. She came and got me, and I carefully got out of bed so as not to wake up the baby, who had ended up in our bed around 6 am. I snuck into the girls’ room where Ary was still sleeping, nicked the monitor, and put it on my nightstand so I would be able to hear when the baby woke up. Ary is 2 now, so she would just yell for me at the baby gate at the top of the stairs when she woke up.

Eowyn and I are able to get through breakfast without a sound from the other two. When we’re finishing up, I hear Laurelyn fussing a bit on the monitor. Since Ary is still asleep, I quietly rush upstairs to get the baby before she starts crying. I open my door to find a naked Ary in my bed next to Laurelyn. She must have woken up and gone in there looking for me, discovered an awake Laurelyn, and knowing the sleep-eat-poop routine of babies, took it upon herself to try to nurse her baby sister. The reason Laurelyn started fussing was because she couldn’t get a latch!

I didn’t hear the door open or the bed creak over the monitor at all! Ary can be as stealth as a thief in the night. I am terrified of when that girl becomes a teenager; we don’t stand a chance. 

At first it was a bit disturbing to see her trying to get her sister to latch on to her “boob”. But then when I took a step back, I realized how beautiful it was. Ary is still innocent of the sexual association of breasts and only knows them for their primary function: to feed babies. She saw that her sister was hungry, and tried to feed her. She looked so proud of herself as she declared, “Mommy, I nurse baby!”

We weren’t sure how Ary was going to react to having a new baby in town because she’s a Mommy’s girl all the way. Although there was an adjustment period, she has taken on the role of big sister very well. She loves Laurelyn fiercely. And today is just evidence that not only is she a wonderful big sister, but one day, she is going to make an amazing mommy.

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Cheers to a life that never lacks a dull moment!